Pregnant Wife Insists That Her Husband Holds Her Hand During Childbirth Instead of 'Fulfilling His Fantasy' of Delivering the Baby Himself

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jul 13, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

No matter which way you slice it, pregnancy is intense, messy, and quite frankly, a little terrifying. For your first child, the thought of the unknown combined with centuries of birthing complications can swirl in a woman's mind for 9 months, heightening the worries and woes that come before you hold your cherished newborn. This is why a lot of ladies lean on their husbands for support in the delivery room. With a warm hand to squeeze and a reassuring face by your side, you tackle this new parenting lifestyle side-by-side. 

But for one woman on Reddit, her husband decided to make her pregnancy all about him, attempting to abandon her during delivery so that he could fulfill his Mr. Man fantasy of delivering his own baby. While it's pretty cool for a doctor by profession to claim he delivered his own child when your wife is trembling at the thought of childbirth, the right thing to do would be to stick by her side, right? 

Well after her stubborn husband tried to insist on his own childbirth vision, this pregnant woman stood up for herself and confronted him, challenging his masculine fantasy and replacing it with her own female reality. 

Scroll for the entire story of a woman's road to reclaiming her pregnancy from a pushy husband and how the Internet helped empower her to do so…

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  • 01
    "He can be in the room at your head, or he can't be in the room. His choice. NTA. What you're doing isn't a privilege, it's a difficult and dangerous part of life. If men could do it, women would gladly sign them up. He needs to get over his fantasy"
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for wanting my husband to hold my hand during birth?
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 03
    I (35f) am 7 months pregnant. I am married to an Family Medicine Doctor (35M) and we've been together 10 years. Throw away reddit because my SIL follows me on reddit and reports everything to my husband.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 04
    I'm reaching out to all of you to ask your advice on a fight my husband and I are having on our birth plan. My husband really wants to deliver the baby which I can kind of understand.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 05
    It's not uncommon for doctors to deliver their own kid. There is still an OBGYN there monitoring everything, and the doctor father steps in at the last minute as mom is crowning to just catch the baby.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 06
    My husband has I guess always dreamed of being the one to pull the baby out, while I pictured it very differently. I thought he would be up by my head, holding my hand and helping me through it. He says
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 07
    he will do that, but the easiest part is the very end where I won't need him anyway. He said if I really want someone there, his mom can step in. I've been on my own since I was a
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 08
    kid living in my car, so I don't have anyone I'd want in there with me except him. I don't really even want his mom in there. She's great, but he's my person. I know it would be
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 09
    "cool" for him to deliver our baby, but I really feel like I need him there. I personally didn't want our doctors to know he was a doctor, because as soon as
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 10
    any of my doctors, or even our vet, finds out he's a doctor they talk exclusively to him. I don't even want him to go the prenatal appointments anymore because no one talks to me. They all talk to him, and
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 11
    I can't ask my questions to anyone but my husband at home. But he's already told everyone he'll be delivering his first baby. I guess I don't want this
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 12
    because I wanted him to be there as a husband and a father, and not a doctor. I see him as a doctor 95% of the time, and I wanted to experience this with my husband and not my husband
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 13
    the doctor. I wanted him to be there for me as this is my first birth and I'm terrified. He just keeps telling me I'll be fine. He pulled in friends/family who also don't understand my POV.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 14
    They said this is his first child too, and to just let him have this since I had the honor of being pregnant. I just really wanted him to hold my hand all the way through it,
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 15
    and be able to share this experience as parents and people instead of a medical professional. I was hoping we could see the baby at the same time and just be equals in this. Am I being selfish for wanting this to be my way?
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 16
    UPDATE: I am going to confront him tonight when he gets home. He's already going to be upset because we both have restrictions on how much time we spend on social media
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 17
    sites and I have significantly surpassed that today and yesterday which he'll know as soon as he reviews the router logs. I'm hopeful I can catch him before that makes him too upset.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 18
    I did reach out to some of our mutual friends just to see what he has told them for why this is so important to him, only to learn he never discussed this with them. I think he made up
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 19
    what he has been saying they said. They were really shocked to learn we've been having this disagreement and were actually quite supportive of an
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 20
    expectant mother controlling her birth plan. I'm quite nervous about his reaction to this as well and I'd like to get ahead of this. Wish me luck and cross your fingers for me!
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 21
    RRK5953 1d ago He can be in the room at your head, or he can't be in the room. His choice.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 22
    NTA. What you're doing isn't a privilege, it's a difficult and dangerous part of life. If men could do it, women would gladly sign them up. He needs to get over his fantasy.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 23
    mutherofdogg... · 16h ago Your SIL "reports" back to your husband? Your husband reviews router history to monitor your internet usage??
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 24
    Girl, I think you have bigger problems than your husband being an inconsiderate partner during your life threatening medical event.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 25
    For what it's worth, labor and delivery is 100000% about the person risking their life to bring a child into the world. Your husband's SOLE job during YOUR labor is to do exactly what you want him to do.
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 26
    Sw... • • • 1d ago Edited 1d ago NTA I would arrange a meeting with your midwife and doctors without him present. I would let them know that in no uncertain terms is your husband
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 27
    allowed to take over and be the doctor for your birth. That he's there only as your husband and that if he tries to ignore you and take over then they are to remove him
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 28
    from the room completely. That you want this put clearly on your file. You are their patient and you are sick of your doctors and nurses only talking only to
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 29
    your husband on YOUR appointments. That you're their patient and you should not have to ask your husband to tell you what your doctors told him about you and your pregnancy
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 30
    when you get home. That it is you risking your life going through a traumatic life risking procedure and as such if any of them enable your husband to act as a
    via Specific-Koala1721
  • 31
    doctor against your wishes that you will be taking legal action and make official complaints. As you should have a say on who you give approval of and who you feel safe operating on your body.
    via Specific-Koala1721

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females baby pregnancy woman empowered empowerment Female Empowerment relatable interesting wife womens memes husband womens pregnant female ladies women delivery lady
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